He choose to give this relationship up this way.

He choose to give me up this way.

He choose not to see me when i needed him badly.

Got no one to talk to. 

I loved him alot was waiting for him but too late , i hate him alot now.

When i needed him, he chose not to see me and give me atiitude.

Was humiliated near my house about week ago. 

Nobody helped me and nobody was there for me. 

I cant tell anyone also. 

Felt terrible to the max. Is this my fate?

Heart totally shattered. Money is the most important to me now.

Whatever it takes, as long as there is money i will do it. 

I want him to regret he is the one who create the Ace now. 

2 mths of sadness

So long never post already, guess this blog might be forgotten for long long time ago.
Don't know what i am holding on to, and blogging here, maybe just thought of some memories me and him had together.
Everyday been missing him , everytime having the thought of happy times together, tears welling up in my eyes. From a bubbly girl , i've turn into a quiet and stern girl. Hasnt been smiling for long.
Find smiling so hard now. There was a time when my friend saw the neoprints on my ezlink card and ask me
a question that i don't know how to answer; " where is the smile on this photo ? ". Just simply give him a smile and change topic. Other than work, always stay at home facing the com don't know what else to do.
Used to love night time and after work , because i knew after work there is someone that i yearn to see and hug for the entire day , but now i hate it. i rather stay in the office and work to past time. Every lonely night , i will be looking the photo of me and him, wondering if i had been good, if i am willing to continue slogging at the clinic, we would still be together as a perfect lovely and sweet couple like that time.
But all this have been too late to regret too. Yesterday also don't know what happen to me, been out of my mind, raging at my best brother . Totally not my character at all. Why should i still holding on ? Been asking myself that, and didnt got an answer. Don't feel like thinking already. Been too tired. Really tired of tearing.

I am sorry

if you happen to read this blog , i am already mia for very long from you. i know you don't love me anymore.
if there is a choice given to me i rather don't want to earn so much money, just stay as a small clinical nurse and live happily forever after. we used to be a happy and loving sweet couple .everything is too late now. It is my fault that i lost you.
i didnt treasure you. i dont want to burden you anymore, i choose to leave this way. the kiss in the cab was a goodbye kiss. Hope you excel in your studies. You are still the one i love till now, never ever change. i am sorry for everything. Hope you will forgive me. Wish you all the best.

May Post

As per normal currently at Boyfriend's house blogging and is a Saturday night, tomorow got work.=.= 

Today is the 19th going to 20th soon , 8 more days to my pay again ! yeah ! And end of May ! I love June because is school holiday for my boyfriend and we won't be wearing those sickening uniform already! Regaining our original uniform . So cool! Recently quite busy with work and my studies.Next month end starting of my exam already. Hope can pass man. Recently so many quarrels with mother and boyfriend. 

I don't know why also. Yesterday after quarrel i just went to sleep after he walked out of the house. I didnt even chased after him. What's happening to me ? Today just got into a big quarrel with mother over a stupid small matter at hougang mall. WTF ? Why is this happening to me ? Seriously i really hope that my own mother

sometime can be understanding, but that will never happen i guess. The good news is she told me that she had found a job and i am quite happy about that, at least she have something to do. And cut me off some slack. phew..

Talk about my boyfriend, we are going to our 8th month already i think about 2 weeks more. Recently, I just 

felt that me and him felt like stranger to each other. No longer that close anymore. Wondering what's happening. Does he still love me as much as before ? And today just keep asking me to change my style of wearing. Is he trying to hint that i shouldnt wear so childish or immature already ? Is he started to despise me already ? I am wondering alot of things, i do not know what is he thinking anymore. I am afraid of losing him. But is he afraid of losing me too ? Is he still feeling the same way towards me like before ? There is so many doubts about him. Maybe we both had a hectic lifestyle so talked less to each other too. And i had so many stress too. Stress about my own future , my studies and everything. I felt so lonely deep down in my heart . 

Does anyone knows that ? 

Talk about myself, i don't even know recently what i am doing. I just feel so lost and feel so fail. Nobody listen

to me. Forever is my fault. Like nothing is correct. I swear i will study hard to get that fcuking O level cert and at least further my studies to get a much high pay job. I am also wondering will i last with him ? Will he get tired of me ? Will he find me a nuisance sooner or later ? There is so many doubts and i don't feel like thinking abut it . All i want is to be happy . That's all. 

Newest Update

hello guys, this is sera here . OMG so long never update my blog already , collecting dust soon . LOL .
Well this few months there is quite alot of changes between me and him. He went to Poly and i started to prepare for my O level oral examination soon. After he went poly, wow he is leading a hectic lifestyle man. Everyday tons of homework for him to do, but he still manage to find the time for me which is on weekend and whenever he can , all the little things he done for me , i appreciate it alot . haha my little baby is sleeping beside me, looking so cute and innocent omg . Recently weekend also hanging out with Jer and Xueyi at hougang chambers there. This couple is great man. No doubt.
As for me and my mum (holyshit...), is still the same. quarrels and fights is always there. There is also alot of changes in me too , physical appearance and of course character. Well, not for u guys to know =)


As for my baby, i dont' know what else to say to him. I want to tell him so much but no words can describe my feelings towards him . He is such a wonderful boyfriend seriously. I am so happy that he had failed relationship in the past because if wasnt for those bitches, i wouldnt have gotten such a great guy. He really motivates me alot and changes my life. Everyday i am living in a meaningless lifestyle except for weekends because during weekends he is there to spend his time with me and i felt like a human then. I only smile during weekends and as for the other days i dont think so . OKay thats for now. Bye

this week is not so happy , feeling so moody. =.= 

baby, i am so sorry to let u worry . i will be fine soon okay ?

omg tmr suddenly got doctor again . Might be a very busy day =.= 

cant even rest properly. 

Recently so many things to do and work is so busy and stressful . 

This coming week i am helping chuen oi to cover night shift so means

this week i will be doing 2 day full shift omg so tired =.=. 

then on the march i got to cover kat two monday night also. which means 2 weeks 2 day full shift at a row omg. dun even know sunday nid to cover anot . hope can have a proper rest day . =.= . 

on our anniversary month baby got test on the 5th so i must go home on the saturday or sunday morning ?

den march still got so many things nid to worry on my mind . march is not a gd month . Hope april faster come. Cos april everything will be smooth already . 

today go watch ghost rider2 movie with baby. i know he not much money left already . 

but he still bring me go watch movie . i feel so touched that i am much more impt than his money to him . 

that makes me even wan to return his money asap . i everyday reminding myself this and that . kip giving myself so many stressful thing. =.= i cant live without stress i think . 

I am feeling so tired . no matter how hard i try , i just feel that we are both from different world. 

we just dun meant to be together . i just feel that way . i love him so much . but sometimes things dun get in our way , thats fate.i really feeling so tired, he dun seems to understand whye am i feeling so afraid to lose him .

he dun get cheated so many times, he dun get the fear, he dun know everything . he dun understand how important is he to me, losing him is just like losing my life , i dun know wat to do . life is meaningless without him . and somehow or rather i dun know how he know i am crying every night . i just dun know wat to do also. i am afraid of losing him becos i love him too much . recently had been helping out colleague to cover shift , i hope every minute i am working or else studying so tat i dun have the time to think so much , i rather overwork myself than having myself so sad. everytime promises tat are given to me is empty promises. i am just afraid that this time is also another empty promises. sometimes alone at home , i feel so happy . i am not even happy now . i just feel like being alone now . the sadness i am feeling now even myself dun even know how to describe. he dun allow me to cry . the onli place i can cry is my own room , my own bed, no one else will disturb me . i just feel like blogging becos i want to shout everything out , but i cant... he just feel i am rediculous, maybe. Everyone just think i am at fault , mum and relative think that he is just playing my feelings, out there there are more pretty and nice girl than me , how would he even look at me . i dun know who to believe now . If i were to be more pretty and slim , maybe i can capture his heart more ? i have nothing compare to those girls, they go shopping weekly or daily, talking fashion with friends, gossiping and busying making-up , i have nothing, no money, no looks nothing, educational level also nothing, i dun know what else i have. Maybe they are right too , i am just a burden anyway . A stupid burden , that's all , i am being born for a reason; to be a burden . i want to go home now . home ....