So long never blog already.
Leading a normal healthy but boring life. Occasionally still will think of him .
But i never regret my decision.
Come to think of it, maybe is the best for us to be like that.
Loving him is the proudest thing in my life . Because he taught me how to get up on my feet.

Afresh

Okay, back to blogging.
I am back on my feet now.
Finally get over him already.
What leftover is just guilt & regret.
Sadness? Maybe is over. I don't know.
My plan to retake O level is determined and now i already started preparing.
Is quite tired and fustrating as i already left school for long
and when there is problems nobody help me too. =.=
Now had been working as Admin for like 2 month plus
and this 2 month i realised that if i had a proper lifestyle i can be
as happy even without money.
Because of money i lost something that is important to me
which i can never have it back.
Now everyday started to jog with dog , spend time with family.
Simple life can be so great.
Back to gaming too. Well for sure i will control .
Dont want to stuck at this level already.
Want to go even higher and keep upgrading myself.
I promise myself i would give my mum a good life.
Focusing on work and future is my main purpose now.
Relationship ? give me a break for a while.
Hurt once is enough.

Why am i still so useless as ever?
Till now i still cant bear to let go of this relationship.
Falling in love takes 1 day and forgetting someone takes a lifetime.
The wound is still as fresh as the first day we broke up,
is still as painful as ever.
When will it going to be heal?
Is it too late for everything now ?

He choose to give this relationship up this way.

He choose to give me up this way.

He choose not to see me when i needed him badly.

Got no one to talk to. 

I loved him alot was waiting for him but too late , i hate him alot now.

When i needed him, he chose not to see me and give me atiitude.

Was humiliated near my house about week ago. 

Nobody helped me and nobody was there for me. 

I cant tell anyone also. 

Felt terrible to the max. Is this my fate?

Heart totally shattered. Money is the most important to me now.

Whatever it takes, as long as there is money i will do it. 

I want him to regret he is the one who create the Ace now. 

2 mths of sadness

So long never post already, guess this blog might be forgotten for long long time ago.
Don't know what i am holding on to, and blogging here, maybe just thought of some memories me and him had together.
Everyday been missing him , everytime having the thought of happy times together, tears welling up in my eyes. From a bubbly girl , i've turn into a quiet and stern girl. Hasnt been smiling for long.
Find smiling so hard now. There was a time when my friend saw the neoprints on my ezlink card and ask me
a question that i don't know how to answer; " where is the smile on this photo ? ". Just simply give him a smile and change topic. Other than work, always stay at home facing the com don't know what else to do.
Used to love night time and after work , because i knew after work there is someone that i yearn to see and hug for the entire day , but now i hate it. i rather stay in the office and work to past time. Every lonely night , i will be looking the photo of me and him, wondering if i had been good, if i am willing to continue slogging at the clinic, we would still be together as a perfect lovely and sweet couple like that time.
But all this have been too late to regret too. Yesterday also don't know what happen to me, been out of my mind, raging at my best brother . Totally not my character at all. Why should i still holding on ? Been asking myself that, and didnt got an answer. Don't feel like thinking already. Been too tired. Really tired of tearing.

I am sorry

if you happen to read this blog , i am already mia for very long from you. i know you don't love me anymore.
if there is a choice given to me i rather don't want to earn so much money, just stay as a small clinical nurse and live happily forever after. we used to be a happy and loving sweet couple .everything is too late now. It is my fault that i lost you.
i didnt treasure you. i dont want to burden you anymore, i choose to leave this way. the kiss in the cab was a goodbye kiss. Hope you excel in your studies. You are still the one i love till now, never ever change. i am sorry for everything. Hope you will forgive me. Wish you all the best.

May Post

As per normal currently at Boyfriend's house blogging and is a Saturday night, tomorow got work.=.= 

Today is the 19th going to 20th soon , 8 more days to my pay again ! yeah ! And end of May ! I love June because is school holiday for my boyfriend and we won't be wearing those sickening uniform already! Regaining our original uniform . So cool! Recently quite busy with work and my studies.Next month end starting of my exam already. Hope can pass man. Recently so many quarrels with mother and boyfriend. 

I don't know why also. Yesterday after quarrel i just went to sleep after he walked out of the house. I didnt even chased after him. What's happening to me ? Today just got into a big quarrel with mother over a stupid small matter at hougang mall. WTF ? Why is this happening to me ? Seriously i really hope that my own mother

sometime can be understanding, but that will never happen i guess. The good news is she told me that she had found a job and i am quite happy about that, at least she have something to do. And cut me off some slack. phew..

Talk about my boyfriend, we are going to our 8th month already i think about 2 weeks more. Recently, I just 

felt that me and him felt like stranger to each other. No longer that close anymore. Wondering what's happening. Does he still love me as much as before ? And today just keep asking me to change my style of wearing. Is he trying to hint that i shouldnt wear so childish or immature already ? Is he started to despise me already ? I am wondering alot of things, i do not know what is he thinking anymore. I am afraid of losing him. But is he afraid of losing me too ? Is he still feeling the same way towards me like before ? There is so many doubts about him. Maybe we both had a hectic lifestyle so talked less to each other too. And i had so many stress too. Stress about my own future , my studies and everything. I felt so lonely deep down in my heart . 

Does anyone knows that ? 

Talk about myself, i don't even know recently what i am doing. I just feel so lost and feel so fail. Nobody listen

to me. Forever is my fault. Like nothing is correct. I swear i will study hard to get that fcuking O level cert and at least further my studies to get a much high pay job. I am also wondering will i last with him ? Will he get tired of me ? Will he find me a nuisance sooner or later ? There is so many doubts and i don't feel like thinking abut it . All i want is to be happy . That's all.